This week has been filled with medical appointments. Developmental psychologist for our son, bone age, echocardiogram, ENT and audiology appointments for our daughter. I’ve returned to work full-time because my boss was suddenly diagnosed with a brain tumor last Saturday and had to retire, and that’s simply a lot to juggle.
So much has happened this week, but I have to say the most bizarre moment has been I was reviewing colors with our daughter. She really struggles to remember anything longer than 15 seconds. It’s almost like there’s a block between her short and intermediate memory. No matter how many times we go over the letter A, which is in her name, which she can WRITE, if it’s been more than 15 seconds since I’ve told her it’s a letter A, she can’t remember.
Finally, as we were going through a Curious George book, I began to ask the colors of the flowers: red, yellow, and blue. Every page, we reviewed. Finally, she started to get them all correct, all by herself!
My husband and our son were in another part of the house, and so I shouted out, “Come look what your daughter can do! She knows her colors!” But she slapped both hands over my mouth and said, “No mama, no!”
Our son and my husband came in the room to watch, and she covered her eyes and refused to participate. When we finally peeled her hands away, and convinced her to do it, she got all of them wrong.
Now I wonder if part of her delay really isn’t a delay at all, but some other motivation for not learning. I’ve seen it happen before where she knows something, and my husband and her brother walk in the room, and she suddenly can’t remember. It’s just the “NO mama! No!” was new.
I do know that her brother told her not to speak English, and we’ve asked him to tell her to speak English, which has helped. She is at least making an effort now. He is still considerably ahead of her. But I just don’t know why she is afraid to learn and demonstrate learning.
Her preschool has noted that she is pretty uncooperative with testing as well, so it’s not necessarily JUST her brother or my husband.
So, is she really developmentally delayed, or does she not want to learn? Is it because she wants to stay four? Did someone tell her girls don’t belong in school? Did others tell her she wasn’t smart enough? Did her brother tell her to play dumb?
There could be a thousand things going on in her precious little brain. I hope to someday figure her out!
We are having her declared officially 6 on Monday, and she will turn 7 next May, and her brother officially turning 8 this month. We cannot legally change their birth dates because they immigrated based on their falsified birthdates, but we are trying to get a doctor’s note so that we can address their needs better in public school. Our special-needs daughter especially needs extra help that school can (hopefully) offer. If our daughter indeed has special needs.